Bob Barker Never Gets Sick

It's a universality that if one truly stays home sick from work (as I did for all of last week), there is only one show that you have to watch. The need is more holistic than anything, a feeling that you are completing part of the staying at home ritual. I can't imagine staying sick long enough that I would get bored of The Price as half the fun is watching Bob Barker going through the motions and getting genuinely upset every show.

What kind of rights does a contestant who is contiually getting fucked by the person picking ahead of them have in terms of payback? If the asshole with a home made shirt keeps topping you by a dollar and then gives a smug look, I say you should be able to lobby Bob or fake Rod Roddy for their spot at the big spin. No more strategizing and turning Contestant's Row into Survivor for the 42 minutes at 11 AM we all need to get better.

The rest of watching tv while sick tells you a great deal about who the advertisers and producers of shows believe is their most important audience. Do you flatulate often? Then you're probably at home during the day. Suffer from ailments of all orifices? Again, at home. Purchase the majority of products from commercials budgeted near $200? Enjoy that lump-sum settlement, my immobile friend. It's depressing and motivating enough to get most people off their sick asses and back to productivity.

I've never been mad at anyone who won the car.

Gym Class Heroes + K-OS + RX Bandits @ Firestone on Mar. 1, 2007 - $15

Update - A contestant on the Showcase Showdown had a showcase containing some books, an appliance and a Chrysler 300. She bid $94,000.